Not the therapist your father refused to see.
Psychotherapy for adults and couples · West Village & virtual
Book a consultation →My approach
A place to think clearly.
When we're overwhelmed, emotionally reactive, or checked out, we reach for whatever tools are available. Some help. Some keep us stuck.
Therapy isn't about becoming someone new. It's about replacing the strategies that no longer serve you with ones that actually do.
The work begins with trust. Not the kind that's assumed, but the kind that's earned. We'll set clear goals, challenge automatic patterns, build tolerance for discomfort, and practice responding intentionally instead of reacting automatically.
I offer empathy and pushback in equal measure. I'll validate your experience when it's helpful, and I'll challenge your thinking when it's keeping you stuck. I believe both are necessary for meaningful change.
My goal isn't for therapy to feel clinical or performative. It's for it to feel like two people doing difficult work together.
Radical Acceptance.
Real Pushback.
Why I do this
I didn't want to be a therapist.
But at 23, I spent enough time in therapy to realize something wasn't working for me. The therapists I met were thoughtful and intelligent — and yet the work often felt strangely impersonal. There was plenty of validation and insight, but not always enough challenge. I left too many sessions feeling understood without feeling changed.
It made me ask a different question:
What kind of therapist would I have actually wanted to see?
I take the work seriously. I just don't think therapy has to feel stiff, detached, or scripted.
My style is direct, collaborative, and deeply Socratic. I'll ask questions that help you think differently, push back when I believe you're getting in your own way, and stay engaged enough that therapy feels like a conversation — not a performance.
I studied Sociology at Hamilton College before earning my Master's in Mental Health Counseling at Hunter College. I trained in REBT because I wanted to learn how to actively challenge the beliefs that keep people stuck. Later, I became certified in EMDR after growing interested in how memory — not just belief — shapes the way we experience ourselves and the world. My work also draws from attachment theory, parts work, and Choice Theory.
When I'm not in session, you'll usually find me training for a triathlon at Equinox, planning my next trip with my husband, or walking my Bernedoodle around SoHo.
Who I work with
Individuals and couples.
I'm a generalist, and the work goes furthest with people who are committed to the relationship and the effort more than to one particular topic. You can see some of the frequent material I work around below.
Masculinity
Making room for ambition, emotional range, responsibility, tenderness, discipline, and a version of masculinity that is chosen rather than inherited.
Intimacy
Patterns of closeness, distance, rupture, and repair. The difficult work of saying what you actually want.
Breakups
The end of something, and the version of yourself that was built inside it. Sorting what actually happened from what you're carrying that was never yours.
Relationship conflict
Arguments that resolve nothing and then repeat. Naming the pattern underneath the fight, and what each person is actually asking for.
Parent-child relationship
Old roles and obligations, and what you owe the people who raised you. Understanding family history without letting it write every new scene.
Identity issues
Sexuality, gender, culture, faith, class. The parts of a self that were inherited, and the parts that get chosen.
Kink & transactional sex
Desire without shame attached to it. Kink, sex work, and the difference between something you've chosen and something that's running you.
Complex trauma
Patterns that formed early, kept you safe, and now cost more than they return. EMDR where it's useful, at a pace you set.
Integrative approach with focused training in REBT and EMDR. If you're specifically interested in EMDR for trauma reprocessing, mention it when you reach out.
Media & speaking
Elsewhere.
Rates
Clear terms.
A limited number of sliding-scale spots are available on a case-by-case basis. Please mention this when you reach out if it's a factor.
Practice details
The particulars.
Christopher Street, West Village, NYC
Hybrid — in-person & virtual
M.A. Hunter College
B.A. Hamilton College
NYS LMHC #013202
Get in touch
Considering therapy?
Reach out to schedule a free 20-minute consultation. Tell me a little about what brings you here, and I'll be in touch.
Thank you — that reached me.
I read every inquiry myself and will reply within two business days.
Or write directly · ben@chatwithben.com